why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
