She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
