Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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