so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
