If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
