No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
