i barfeds in our rink
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
