oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
