i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
