that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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