hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
