Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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