dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
