ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
