so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
