Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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