I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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