you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
