Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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