You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
