I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
