It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
