i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
