Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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