I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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