there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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