What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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