I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
