For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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