If that was your dad, he is hot
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So squirting runs in the family.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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