I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
