oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
