They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
