Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That's intense
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
