drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am midnight drunk by noon
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
