I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
