i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
