i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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