somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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