I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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