Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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