You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
