When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
