i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
