your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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