i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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