Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
