All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
