But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
