You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
